Saturday, May 9, 2009

Nuclear Attack is No Longer a Threat

I've had these in my medicine cabinet for 4 years now and thank the good lord above that I have them at my disposal. I refuse to throw them out, because now they have taken on a kind of superterrestrial significance and protect me from all types of dangers--real and perceived. For example, I sleep soundly knowing that I have only to pop one of these tablets and I will become impervious to a nuclear flash and blast, radiation poisoning, and even structural damage caused by the explosion. This provides me with tremendous peace of mind.
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3 comments:

  1. UnknownMay 9, 2009 at 10:19 PM

    But when the screaming starts down the block and people are burning up like flies hitting a bug zapper, will you be able to remember where these are in your house? I know I won't. In fact, I'm not sure where they are now, and I'm perfectly relaxed, about to have a glass of wine and a cigarette on the porch.

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  2. SGMay 10, 2009 at 8:51 AM

    It's enough to have them. You needn't remember where they are, and that's the beauty of it all. It's unfortunate that others will incinerate, but they should have secured their supplies of potassium iodate... This should be a staple like aspirin and then tragedy may be averted.
    Your relaxed guard is also essential to well being and I applaud your use of alcohol and nicotine.

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  3. UnknownMay 10, 2009 at 9:32 AM

    My god, I had no idea that all you had to do was have them in the house somewhere and you'd be fine. Does the product list this on the label? They really should. The pills would sell like hot cakes. Does it work for Swine Flu, too? Even if it doesn't, the company should say it does. Sales, baby. You know that's what it's all about. Blondes and sales.

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